Dump the Toxicity
In researching this week's expansion article on Negative Thinking, I came across and article that started with: “What percentage of your brain was hijacked into negativity in 2020? What were the negative go-to phrases that you gave free rent between your two ears?”. I thought, well isn’t that just the perfect way to begin. As you have been following along with our releases to support our Mental Wellbeing Campaign and evidence-based Resource Guide, we have been exploring quite heavily mindset, mindfulness, belief structures and subconscious mind. As this author represents, “ a go-to phrase is a statement or a declaration that is field by belief”
I.e. “I just can’t ever get ahead.” or “nothing ever works out for me”. These are emotionally fueled beliefs that say your relationships, financials, physical health, spirituality, and mental wellbeing are not working out or successful for you. And remember, we all define success according to our own unique values.
So how do we shift that negative thinking into a more positive way of being? You must first get really honest with yourself. Do a personal inventory. Has there been, even something small, in your life where something did work out? Have you experienced an unexpected opportunity that did help you move forward in one of these aspects of your life. Identifying one true contradiction to the negative statement above, is enough to gain new awareness and mindfulness and start bringing back control into your life. (In next week’s article we will dive into the science behind gratitude, and how that is a powerful tool to shift negative snowballs) In neuro linguistic programing, NLP, you are shown the neuroplasticity of thoughts and that YOU have control to change your mind and mental constructs, thus shifting the patterns of the mental and emotional behaviors. And yet still allow yourself to feel and express your emotions.
Again, self-awareness. Know this word, use it, and practice it! It's a fundamental key to unlocking all possibilities in your life. Languaging is a core aspect of mindfulness. The language we use internally towards ourselves, and affirming things out loud. Words have power. Don’t let generalizations about specific situations consume your whole life.
A core principle to my work with business owners, organizations and even in my coaching is what I call the “Three for Three”, and there are 3 of them. One of them is the: Thought, Feel, Act. Your thoughts invoke Emotions, your Emotions determine your Actions, or Lack of Action. Sometimes a fear based thought can produce emotions of stress, or overwhelm, and thus may prevent you from taking the necessary actions to move forward, or an alternative course. Likewise, if a thought enters your awareness and creates a positive emotion, such as joy, happiness, hope, it can create a compelling and motivating action.
“Let’s face it, 2020 offered plenty of “earth school” material to go negative between your two ears. How about you take back the power you give to your negative conclusions about your life and re-write the script between your two ears. You may say: “well, I can’t help it, life is not turning out the way I want it to.” You’re right, you can’t help it, unless you want to.”
The emphasis here is UNLESS YOU WANT TO. That’s right, every single thought, emotion and action IS A CHOICE. Your choice. Remember Henry Ford’s quote, “Whether you think you can or can’t you are right?” Well I have to find any neuroscience, quantum physics, or psychology research that disproves it!
“[Negativity fasting] is a spiritual practice,” Storey says. “Any time my perception paints something as dark, negative, wrong, bad…[negativity fasting] is deleting that thought, eliminating that thought. I truly believe that reality is created by the thoughts we have.”... and the science can prove it!
Did you know that your conscious mind is only operating 5% of your thoughts, actions, behaviors and decisions?!?! That means that 95% of your subconscious mind is on autopilot, and ruling your thoughts, actions, behaviors and decisions. However, as Dr. Bruce Lipton’s work has shown us, when you are in a state of Love or Joy, you have 1,600% increase in accessing the rest of your conscious mind.
This is where, and I know most humans don’t like the idea of taking self-responsibility and self-accountability, however, you have to get really honest with yourself. Do you want to fast from negative thoughts or negativity in general in your life? While most respond instantly with “yes, of course I do.” Yet, if you did a self-inventory, ask yourself, do your thoughts, your language, your behaviors, your actions really align with those internal beliefs.
A lot of people just want the negative self-talk to end, or they want different results in their lives, even more so, people just want to inherently be happy, and live in freedom. This is the first step to freeing yourself from the negativity. Do you really want to do things differently? Do you really want different results? The only one this answer matters to is you.
Negativity appears in a lot of various ways: You may be more prone to drama in your life, negative self-talk or self-doubt, lack of self-worth, gossip, fear, worry, judgments of self or others. It was a lot of unknown little things that made these limiting beliefs a way of being, and it can be undone by taking small, simple, empowered actions done each day. IT’S ALL A PRACTICE!
“The definition of positivity is actually a practice of remaining positive or optimistic. The word practice has built in grace in that you are moving towards a desired state of being, you are practicing being more positive today than yesterday.”
Visit Mark DeJesus’ “The Kind of Fast You Need to Consider: Negativity Fast” for an easy, well-mapped out, 30 day fast that, and I have done it, will change your life. You don’t realize just how much negativity to allow into your environment and self. Regardless of belief structures, everything about mindfulness and cultivating a positive mindset to navigate any storm or situation is a practice.
If you’ve caught yourself slipping into thoughts such as:
Why isn’t God doing anything about this?
It can’t work
It’s too late
I’m missing out
I don’t have enough
God is rewarding them, not me
Is this it?
I will never recover from this
(Disclaimer) If you suspect you have a mental illness or you're being treated by a mental health professional, ask about how you can incorporate physical activity into your treatment.
A qualified mental health professional can make suggestions about the best strategies for treating your specific condition.
How to Stop the Negativity
At the top of each hour, and set a timer, Take in three deep breaths.
-With the first breath declare one thing you are grateful for
- On the second breath, hold one positive, loving affirmation about yourself,
- With the third breath affirm the positive outcome you wish to experience
*If you are feeling stressed, overwhelmed, or any other state not in joy, then increase to every 20min.
Three Psychological Hacks to Rewire Your Brain:
Get OFF News and Social Media
The brain cannot differentiate between what is real and what is not. The Universe does not know negatives. Tell a child “don’t spill your milk,” and then what, the milk gets spilled. Try getting off news and social media for a week. People who dropped both were happier within days, found more creative ways to socialize with friends, had less polarized views of the world.
Interrupt the Negative Self-Talk snowball with Positive
Clear, Cancel, Delete! That is my go-to statement in my mind if I feel myself about to speak negatively, think a thought rooted in fear, or go into the “drama”. For the next week, commit to yourself to strengthen your mental awareness, and put yourself in the observer's seat for those negative thoughts snowballs.
If you are obsessing over what you didn’t get done at work today and starting to beat yourself, affirm with “I did my best today,” And ask yourself, “How Can I ……. Tomorrow?
*We have covered this before, but it is worth affirming again. Putting yourself in the “How Can I ______?” Mindset will help you in ways you cannot imagine and shift your life exponentially.
Rewire Your Brain Using Gratitude
As I stated before, our next article will dive deep into the power and science of gratitude. When you CHOOSE to focus on the good in your life it supports your ability to navigate the greatest storms of your life. Consciously focusing on that which you are grateful for will give you the resiliency to surf negative events and bring in greater states of JOY in your everyday life.
ENGAGEMENT QUESTION: Will you accept the challenge to fast from negativity for the next 30 days?